5 Signs of a Toxic Psychic

[Photo by Mallory Johndrow on Unsplash

Kelly is a psychic medium and channel. She offers Tarot readings, animal communication sessions, energy healings, and other lightwork services. She is based in Singapore.

If you’re reading this, you’ve probably either had experience with both good and bad psychics, or you’re shopping around to make sure you get a good psychic when you finally book a reading.

For a while now, I’ve been thinking about writing an article about good versus bad psychics. Now bear in mind, when I talk about good or bad, it’s a LOT more than just whether they were accurate.  Continue reading

Sometimes things fall apart so they can come together, better.

[Photo by Andre Hunter on Unsplash

Kelly is a psychic medium and channel. She offers Tarot readings, animal communication sessions, energy healings, and other lightwork services. She is based in Singapore.

Melanie’s Spirit team visited me soon after she’d made a booking for a Tarot consultation, using unforgettable images and words to indicate the state she was in.

As a Spirit worker whose strongest senses are clairvoyance (the ability to see in Spirit) and clairaudience (the ability to hear in Spirit), I’d barely pressed Send on my reply to Melanie when I looked up and saw a large carp, frantically flopping and gasping to breathe on my bedroom floor.

From its mouth I heard laboured, fading whispers: Child gone. Falling apart. Help me.

Spirit is sometimes literal, sometimes figurative, and most times a blend of both. When Melanie arrived at the café a couple of days later for her consultation, I relayed to her what I had been told by Spirit about her situation. Melanie nodded grimly, her eyes staring blankly in the distance as she tried to hold back her tears.

“I’m in a very… tough situation now. Like a fish out of water, as you said. Three days ago, my husband told me he was going to file for divorce. Then he took our son overseas. He didn’t tell me where he was going. I haven’t heard from them since. I don’t know what to do.”

Then she broke down and cried.

Melanie and her husband, Dan, were first loves and college sweethearts who married young. Soon after, Melanie was offered a high-paying job in a prestigious industry; in a twist of fate, Dan was diagnosed around the same time with a chronic health condition that made it difficult to find employers willing to take a chance on him.

The young couple decided that Dan would be the househusband and Melanie, the breadwinner. This arrangement worked out well enough and was rewarded three years ago with the birth of Samuel, their only child.

But the strain of an inadequate work-life balance took its toll on Melanie and Dan’s marriage. Melanie was working 14-hour days, 6 days a week. She enjoyed the challenging and dynamic nature of her job, but missed her family. Dan, on the other hand, struggled with the false guilt of not being able to provide for his family “as a man should” (!!!), as well as resentment that he and Samuel were spending very little time with Melanie as a family.

The marriage broke down slowly, beginning with a decline in communication. Melanie and Dan grew used to going for days, then weeks, without speaking to each other. Melanie was late for Samuel’s first birthday party, missed the second, and forgot the third. It was the last incident that finally caused Dan to snap. He packed his bags, texted Melanie about his intention to divorce, then left.

The marriage broke down slowly, beginning with a decline in communication.

“I want to know where they are, if they’re safe, if they’re happier without me, if I can still save this marriage…” Through her tears, Melanie’s choked and husky whispers reminded me of the suffocating carp I’d seen in Spirit earlier.

Spirit’s answer to Melanie was loving and encouraging – exactly what she needed. Melanie pulled out three cards: the Two of Pentacles and Ten of Cups indicated that Dan had taken Samuel back to New Zealand, where his parents lived. On a more sombre note, Judgement indicated lots of hard work ahead if Melanie wanted to stop her family from breaking up.

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Major Arcana XX: Judgement (Morgan Greer version)

The Tarot card Judgement traditionally depicts the dead rising out of their coffins at the sound of the Trumpet, calling all souls to God’s Judgement. Coincidentally, I was using the Morgan Greer version of the Tarot, which portrayed a man, woman and young child arising out of one coffin – a dead family called to Judgement.

In a relationship reading, Judgement indicates that a couple has reached a crossroads and must now decide how they wish to move forward – together or apart.

As a Tarot card, Judgement can be scary. But marital breakdowns – as with other crises – can be scary. Spirit, in perfect love, light and wisdom, was holding up the truth to Melanie. No sugar-coating or finger-pointing, just a simple question: Your family life is as good as dead, and Dan leaving for New Zealand is a major wake-up call. Melanie, what do you desire?

“I want my family back. I want this marriage to work. Dan and I… we’ve both made mistakes. I want this to change. I will change.”

Spirit, in perfect love, light and wisdom, was holding up the truth to Melanie.

No sugar-coating or finger-pointing, just a simple question… what do you desire?

As Melanie spoke, I’d been shuffling the deck. Two cards popped out: the Two of Cups, and the Two of Rods. I couldn’t help but smile at this encouraging sign.

– Melanie, there’s some hope for you guys. The Two of Cups represents a soulmate; I dare say Dan is still angry, but he misses you and he’s not going to give up on this family so soon. The Two of Rods signifies the need for trustworthy guidance: you might benefit from marital counselling. Two is the number of partnerships: the fact that you’re getting many Twos in your reading indicates that you have a shot at reconciling with Dan. For now…

I pulled out one more card from the deck: Seven of Pentacles. In the Tarot, this card signals waiting for the harvest.

– Be patient. Dan will contact you when he’s ready. In the meantime, look for a therapist.

*          *          *

After a month, Melanie called.

“Dan and Samuel came back last week. Dan said the turning point was when Samuel kept asking where Mummy was. It made him realise that he wanted us to stay as a family. Our first appointment with the therapist is tomorrow. We’re also making changes so we can spend more time with each other – Dan has been taking Samuel down to my office in the evenings so we can have dinner together. And Dan is thinking of starting a side business so he can feel like he’s contributing to the family more.

“The last few weeks were hell. My life fell apart. But I’m very grateful for your help, and you’re right – this had to happen. We’re never going to take each other for granted again. Thank you, Kelly.”

*          *          *          *          *

Seeking assistance from Spirit for love/career/your future, energy healing for people and spaces, or pet communication? Please contact me for a consultation, and I’ll be with you soon:

Tel: +65 8716 9716 (text/WhatsApp only)
Email: hello@kellylightworker.com
Or click here to submit a Contact Form.

The stories on this website (including the above recounts) are based on Kelly’s experiences as a lightworker. Some details have been changed to protect the identities of the individuals involved.

Walking in the Light: it starts with being real.

Daniel’s first and only appointment with me was an energy healing session, about two years ago.

“I want to see how powerful you are,” he proclaimed, arms folded across his chest. His smile was tight, his eyes cold.

I scanned his aura. Oh dear. Daniel was armed to the teeth with energy grids; he also had a lot of energetic attachments (when the latter is present, it’s not a good sign). It was clear that Daniel had consulted many spiritual practitioners and sought healing, protection, activation, and all the bells and whistles that went with those who were very proud of their spiritual growth – or maybe just those who were very proud, period.

“You see my aura? I’m well-connected with some of the best in this field.”
(Riiight, are you going to ask me if I know who you are?)
“Do you know who I am? If you’re good, I’ll spread the word about you and make you famous.”

I smiled.
– Let’s see if I can help you.

The energy healing session was uneventful. Daniel complained of soreness in his back and arms; I had to remove some energetic hooks and spikes from those areas and channel healing into the wounds in his aura. Otherwise, no surprises from a man who had offended many who, in turn, retaliated with energetic and psychic attacks against him via negative thoughts, words and intentions – the hooks and spikes that I saw.

However, Daniel appeared increasingly anxious as the session progressed. He even flinched near the end of the session, when my hand brushed past his shoulder at one point.

I didn’t have to wonder why for too long. Daniel turned to me at the end of the healing session and muttered gruffly: “Hmmph. I knew it. Your energies are not resonant with mine. I’m gifted too, you know.”

Daniel demanded a full refund, which I did not agree to. I asked why.

“Because you lack integrity. I had a vision – I’m clairvoyant, you know. We were rivals in our past lives. You were a powerful sorceress who envied the good work I did and betrayed me to be executed. You nasty woman. I want my money back.”

– Daniel, I don’t think a negative past-life experience you think you saw, even if it were true, justifies a refund for a service already rendered.

Once Daniel realised his shtick wasn’t working, he left indignantly, mumbling something about “taking the high road” and “you’ll get your karma” as he went.

You nasty woman. I want my money back.”

I asked around and found out later that Daniel was, as I’d suspected, a spiritual ‘junkie’ – consulting one spiritual practitioner after another to satiate his addiction to attention readings and healings.

Also, he was a self-proclaimed lightworker. Last I heard, he was about to sue someone for defamation – again, something about unethical conduct and “upholding justice”.

*          *          *

When May saw me for a reading last year, I didn’t expect her to bring her own oracle deck, or to impose an oracle card reading on me after our session ended. (Note to all aspiring oracle card readers: it’s not a good idea to force people to accept a reading from you.) I won’t say how that reading turned out, but at least her cards were pretty to look at.

May kept in touch and, in the months that we were communicating, made it a point to highlight how “well-connected” and “established” she was in the spiritual community. She offered me a joint business venture opportunity, which I declined. She offered to give me business contacts in Hong Kong and Macau, but that didn’t happen either (on hindsight, whew!).

Like Daniel, May was fixated with the idea of being powerful and gifted and serving the Highest Light. However, May’s intention, like Daniel’s, had very little to do with a genuine desire to uphold the greatest good, and more to do with an obsession with presenting herself as a beacon of (self-)righteousness.

Note to all aspiring oracle card readers: it’s not a good idea to force people to accept a reading from you.

I didn’t think too much about it – my philosophy is to live and let live, so long as no harm is done – until one day, when I received a phone call from someone claiming to be an acquaintance of May’s.

“I’m Phoebe. May recommended you to me. Could you come to my office and give a feng shui reading of the space, please?”
– I’m not a feng shui reader, Phoebe. Where did you get that idea?

A confused silence. Then:
May says you’re her good friend. She says you went with her to give feng shui analyses of some potential spaces for the yoga centre she’s opening this year.”
No, Phoebe. Not true. That never happened. I’m sorry I can’t help, but I hope you find the right feng shui reader for your needs.

May had been talking about setting up a yoga centre for some time, but my role as her BFF was news to me. May’s desperation to be validated as someone important in the spiritual and holistic health community was leading her down a dark, deceptive and dangerous path.

I finally stopped communicating with May, after an attempt to clarify the “Kelly’s my personal feng shui reader” incident met with more glib distortions and denials on her part.

That was a year ago. As far as I know, there’s no yoga centre yet.

*          *          *

I’ve shared before about how we need Light, in order to find and keep Love. We need to discover and embrace ourselves as unique sparks emanating from a Divine Source.

Just as we cannot expect others to give us the love we deny ourselves, neither should we manipulate others into giving us validation as a substitute for genuine ability, talent and integrity.

Walking in the Light begins with the choice to be real. We will never truly ‘walk in the Light’ until we learn to see the darkness in ourselves and deal with it accordingly. This is hard work, folks. It’s never comfortable to look within and acknowledge our flaws and weaknesses.

But the alternative is self-delusion, which is worse. It’s darkness masquerading as Light. Choosing to believe in lies, despite the red flags and warnings your circumstances and the people around you are issuing, only sets you up for destruction.

Someone once said that we will know a tree by its fruit: a good tree bears good fruit and a bad tree, poor fruit. Now, don’t get me wrong – in life, we all make mistakes and face challenges. Also, everyone goes through tough spells once in a while. But when the bad times consistently outnumber the good, and when other people keep reflecting negativity back to you, it’s time for some honest self-reflection.

Walking in the Light begins with the choice to be real.

If you complain that most people you meet are jerks and a**holes, have you wondered why you’re the common denominator? If you consider yourself a lightworker, spiritual practitioner, or even just a good person, but you’re often enmeshed in drama and darkness, could it be the case that like attracts like?

No judgement here – we’re all human. Only remember, dear one, that walking in Light is essentially the journey to wholeness. And that can only be achieved by keeping it real.

You know what else is real? The Love of Spirit, the truth of the Universal Laws (such as karma), and the kindness of the Universe. So if you’re on that journey towards discovering the real, authentic you, and you’re struggling with the darkness within, keep working on yourself. You are still loved, and not alone. You are still deserving of love. And working on your darkness to bring in more Light is one of the best ways you can love yourself.

I wish you the very best.

Love and Light,
Kelly

*          *          *          *          *

Seeking to connect and heal with Spirit? Please call, text or WhatsApp Kelly at +65 8716 9716, or email hello@kellylightworker.com and we’ll arrange a consultation that best suits your needs.

The stories on this website (including the above recounts) are based on Kelly’s experiences as a lightworker. Some details have been changed to protect the identities of the individuals involved.

To find true love, face your own truth. This is Esme’s story.

Esme’s nails were bitten to the quick; some were bleeding slightly. That was the first thing I noticed about her. That, and her trembling hands – details most people wouldn’t have noticed, distracted as they might be by the thirty-year-old insurance agent’s Chanel bag, self-assured air and well-polished appearance.

But I’ve given enough readings to know one shouldn’t judge a book by its cover. Man looks at the outward appearance; Spirit looks at the heart. Many people tend to cover up their inner insecurity by over-compensating with external confidence and achievements – not realising that ultimately, they’re only fooling themselves.

I also noted that no Spirit from Esme’s team was coming forward to assist me. The Spirits present were Archangels Michael and Gabriel, to protect and to communicate Spirit’s messages to Esme; Ganesha, to maintain the sacred space while I gave my reading; and myself. Whilst Spirit doesn’t always show up in dramatic ways for all my seekers, when a client’s Spirit team is notably absent, it can sometimes indicate that the client is not ready for the truth. For reasons I would find out soon enough, Esme’s Spirit team had made the decision not to reveal themselves overtly to her.

Man looks at the outward appearance; Spirit looks at the heart.

Esme had requested a reading to ask questions about her career, but it was clear that something else was troubling her. The Tarot cards she was picking throughout the consultation indicated emotional stress, low self-esteem, and deep unhappiness – and while it’s feasible that career issues can lead to such problems, the consistency with which Esme’s cards pointed towards a personal crisis was uncanny.

Finally, after all the career questions were satisfactorily answered, Esme went on to talk about what she thought was really troubling her: her love life.

Apparently, Esme had a forbidden love.

“His family is against his relationship with me. I feel that they’re taking advantage of him. They don’t let him see me. I don’t know what their problem is – I love my boyfriend. I really do.”

I shuffled the deck.
– Alright Esme, pick the cards and we’ll ask Spirit about this situation with your relationship.

But what seemed a simple enough question produced an unexpected answer:
The cards indicated no boyfriend.

“I love my boyfriend. I really do.”

All the cards representing Esme indicated obsession and self-delusion. All the cards representing her so-called boyfriend indicated that he did exist (so he wasn’t a figment of Esme’s imagination), but there was no relationship. Spirit was unusually silent: Michael, Gabriel and Ganesha looked on, but did not comment.

Confused, I tuned in to the energies of Esme’s ‘relationship’. A surge in my intuitive senses instructed me: Ask for his age.

“He’s 89.”

Let’s just say I’m glad my poker face game is strong.

Esme interpreted my shocked silence as support, and continued. “I keep telling him not to let his family bully him into following their wishes. But he won’t listen to me. He hardly sees me anyway. I just want to be with him but his family are getting in the way and messing everything up! Can the Tarot teach me how to help him?”

There’s no point arguing with the deluded. Furthermore, I wasn’t getting much from Spirit. I could only offer some words of counsel, and encourage her to focus on the things in her life that she could control. Finally, the consultation ended and Esme left, comforted.

Over the following months, Esme would text me with vague mentions about troubles in her career or her ‘relationship’, but would stop just short of booking a consultation. I wasn’t surprised: Esme’s real intention was not to connect with Spirit, but with another human being, and she was determined to hold my attention as long as possible. I finally understood why Spirit was so quiet: Esme was firmly entrenched in her own version of reality, and she would not budge.

After I began seeing signs that Esme was developing a romantic interest in me (whilst sending me texts to gain my attention and hopefully, a romantic reciprocation), I decided that enough was enough, and stopped responding to her messages.

It is only human to love and to desire love in return. But when delusion trumps reality, one becomes increasingly frantic in the search for love. Unfortunately, desperation is never a good look on anyone, and instead tends to repel others.

The phrase “Love and Light” has been over-used, and has all but lost its original meaning. “Light” refers to the light of God, the Divine spark within us which illuminates our truth and our path towards our best destiny. To find Love, we need Light. If we snuff out the Light of our own truth, ignoring our wounds and our issues in our frenetic search for the perfect job, partner, whatever it is we’re after – I can practically guarantee you that you will NOT find what you seek, and whatever you cling to, you will eventually lose.

To find Love, we need Light.

It’s a cliché, but it’s true. Finding – and keeping – one’s romantic soulmate begins with the decision to love oneself. And loving oneself is not possible without a willingness to be honest with oneself. Once Esme reaches that point, I am certain that Spirit will be ready and more than happy to assist, guide and heal her. Hopefully, that day will come.

*          *          *          *          *

Seeking to connect and heal with Spirit? Please call, text or WhatsApp Kelly at +65 8716 9716, or email hello@kellylightworker.com and we’ll arrange a consultation that best suits your needs.

The stories on this website (including the above recounts) are based on Kelly’s experiences as a lightworker. Some details have been changed to protect the identities of the individuals involved.

Healing The Inner Child, Part 3: 6 steps to healing.

(Click here for the first article on being honest with your inner child.)
(Click here for the second article on how to recognise a wounded inner child.)

In this article, we explore some ways to heal the inner child. As I’ve mentioned in previous articles (see above), living in a beautiful but broken world pretty much guarantees that everyone has some degree of inner-child wounding. If your inner child is wounded, you are normal and you have nothing to fear. Healing is possible as far as we allow it to happen. So it’s all good. <3

The main characteristic of a child is dependence. A child depends on parents or primary caregivers in order to survive, to thrive and develop a stable, functional sense of Self with which to face the world. This is why people with wounded inner children tend to swing between extremes of pushing family, friends and loved ones away, or pulling and clinging onto them. Confused and chaotic relationships result, bringing misery to everyone.

Children need parents. It’s as simple as that. Wounded inner children especially need to feel that they are unconditionally loved by another human being. Here’s the good news: healing the inner child with unconditional love is possible. Here’s even better news: you’re by far the best person for the job. To heal your inner child, YOU will need to become your own parent.

Healing is possible as far as we allow it to happen. To heal your inner child, YOU will need to become your own parent.

Here are 6 steps to take towards healing your wounded inner child. Here we go! 🙂

1. Come out and play.
Remember how you were like as a child: your likes, your dislikes, the many adorable quirks that make you, you. What activities did you like to do? Go do ’em. It could be blowing bubbles on a breezy evening, building sandcastles, making up silly songs and singing them aloud (I do that a lot, lol!). If you’re embarrassed, that’s just your ego and/or internalised critic talking. Ignore them. Focus on having fun. This is necessary in order to create a safe environment for our inner child sub-personality to express themselves and develop a trusting relationship with our adult personality, where their needs and emotions are validated.

2. Be ready and willing to re-connect.
While processing childhood memories and engaging in childhood activities, remember that intention is key. This is a Spiritual Law that’s also reflected in the physical world around us. Re-connect with your inner child with the intention to love, accept, and heal. Be mindful that you are approaching a very pure and beautiful part of your Soul, one that you might not have connected with for a long time. Approach your inner-child healing with a sense of dread, shame or hastiness (by that I mean a sense of Let’s get this done and over with) and, more likely than not, you’ll find your inner child running away from you instead. You might need patience before the inner child does decide to come out and play with you – but you’ll know when it happens.

3. Brace + Embrace yourself.
When the inner child trusts you enough to reveal himself or herself to you, you’ll know. It starts with fleeting moments of emotion, or vague childhood flashbacks that seem to come out of nowhere. That’s your inner child beginning to communicate with you. Honour these sacred moments. Don’t over-think; experience, then release them. If those memories, thoughts and emotions are important enough, your inner child will remind you.

As I said earlier, if your inner-child work is beginning to make inroads, you’ll know. That’s when you’ll have to brace yourselfno running away, no denying or suppressing, no rationalising or finger-pointing – because the wounds are going to re-open so you can clean out the gunk and heal them.

Some of those wounds are going to hurt like hell. You might experience the following: shock, anger, sorrow, grief, remorse, regret, disgust, loneliness… just to name a few.

And that is when you’re going to become your own parent.

That’s when you embrace your inner child and let that pure spark in your Soul cry its little lungs out. No judgement, no condemnation and most importantly no rationalisation at this stage: trying to “fix” negative emotions with logic only worsens the injury by invalidating how your inner child felt, undoing the hard work of getting your inner child to trust you.

Enraged with your grandmother for passing on, despite promising you that she would fight her illness? Hated your parents for preferring your brother over you? Horrified that you were molested by a trusted family friend and couldn’t tell anyone? Felt (or feeling) completely misunderstood, alone, and lost?

Release the toxicity that has been brewing in forgotten corners of your Soul for so long. Let it all out. Then do this next step:

4. Forgive.
The first and most important person you need to forgive is yourself. All of you. Know and understand that despite all your feelings, your mistakes and flaws, both the current you and your inner child, you are still deserving of love.

The extent to which you are willing to forgive those who have hurt you depends on many factors, and ultimately is your decision to make. But remember that the act of forgiveness does NOT excuse, validate or justify what those people did – especially if we’re talking about acts of abuse. Choosing to forgive people who hurt you is more for your own benefit than anyone else’s. It releases you from the shackles of remembering and holding on to the pain of the past. It’s up to you. Take it at your own pace, and remember you are still loved.

5. Live mindfully.
Mindfulness refers to being self-aware, self-loving and self-accepting. It requires a certain focus and discipline in choosing to release negative mindsets, values and/or emotions, and consciously choosing new, more positive ones. For instance, after you have embraced your anger at your parents’ preferential treatment of your siblings and forgiven them, make the conscious choice of re-perceiving your parents with compassion: as people with wounded inner children themselves who didn’t know better. Again, I’m not asking you to make excuses for them – you don’t have to. But taking a mindful approach to yourself and other people can do wonders for your own healing.

Another (often overlooked) part of mindful living involves the aspect of physical care. Proper rest, diet and exercise are in order. Do make positive, practical changes to your lifestyle as part of your inner-child healing! You’ll be so glad you did.

6. Seek assistance.
You don’t have to do all this by yourself. Seek a support network if necessary. Time to rely on trusted family members, friends and loved ones. Speak to a therapist or counsellor and learn new stress management methods or conflict resolution techniques. On a more holistic front, consider a healing consultation with a holistic health professional or Spirit worker. What is important is that you choose the people and the methods that you feel comfortable with. You are not alone!

In closing, I’d like to share a song called ‘Glósóli’ by a band called Sigur Ros. This song and video are heartbreakingly beautiful, and the theme is about childhood and our inner child. Watch to the end (there’s a lot to learn from this video), and get those tissues ready.

And as you’re watching, do ask yourself:
Which inner child am I like in this video?
Which inner child do I want to become?

May your journey towards inner-child healing and wholeness be blessed by Spirit and the Universe. You’re going to be just fine. Love you all. <3

Kelly

*          *          *          *          *

Seeking to connect and heal with Spirit? Please call, text or WhatsApp Kelly at +65 8716 9716, or email hello@kellylightworker.com and we’ll arrange a consultation that best suits your needs.

Healing the inner child, Part 2: 7 signs of a wounded inner child.

(Click here for the first article.)

Do you remember how it felt to be a child? Some of you recall happy and stable childhoods where you were loved and nurtured. Some of you remember feeling smothered, knowing that you were loved but vaguely unsure of why it made you unhappy. Some of you barely felt loved at all. And sadly, some remember being neglected or actively abused.

Many of my clients who come to me with seemingly insurmountable challenges in their lives, more often than not, realise during their consultations with me that their current problems are rooted in events and situations that occurred when they were young. Wounded as children and told to Get over it, Stop crying or I’ll hit you again, or Sit down and shut up, we did as we were told in order to avoid further mistreatment. But deep inside us, our inner child never healed from unresolved hurts.

How do wounded children behave? We’ve all seen young children tripping, falling over, and screaming their lungs out. We’ve seen frightened kids freeze, wet their pants, hurt themselves, hit other kids. Wounded children express their pain to the world in the hope that someone will help.

It doesn’t matter what age you are now. If your inner child has been wounded and left unhealed, you will tend to revert to certain actions, attitudes and behaviours that reveal that inner child’s vulnerability. You may have grown, but that inner child is still right there, deep inside you. Waiting for love, help and comfort. And in times of stress, that wounded inner child comes out and hijacks the show, no matter how well you’ve been running it.

The young man who fights with his boss – who resembles his own father. The middle-aged woman who can’t trust men, then hates herself for being single. The young woman whose eating disorders have taken over her life.

There is no one whose inner child is completely unhurt; in this beautiful but broken world of ours, there are only degrees of hurting, and degrees of healing. What is important is that we recognise when our inner child calls to us for healing, and that we respond.

And that’s where the challenge lies for many of us. We’re so well-conditioned to rationalise our childhood experiences, to suppress our negative emotions, that even when Spirit lovingly reveals to some of my clients that they have inner-child issues to deal with, they resist.

“Oh, that can’t be me. I’m strong now.”
“That was such a long time ago.”
“I’ve forgotten. It doesn’t matter anymore.”

Healing can only begin when we see and recognise the wounds. Here are seven signs of a wounded inner child that I’ve noted, both from my own personal experience as well as my professional encounters with close to a thousand clients. You may or may not find that these signs resonate with what you’re going through. There’s no “one-size-fits-all” definition for this, but you might find this list useful. Here we go:

1. Playing roles + wearing masks to hide your true Self.
Do you find that you’re a very different person around different people, almost as if you were playing roles to please other people, get the job done, meet your own objectives etc? And that if you were asked to strip away all those roles you play and masks you put on to get through the day, you might not know who lies beneath that elaborate masquerade? This is frequently a response to parental or familial pressure for us to live, look or behave a certain way in order to gain approval. For instance, many closeted LGBT people I meet (especially those from conservative or religious family backgrounds) struggle with this.

2. Weariness.
I’m not talking about the usual tiredness or stress from work or life’s issues. I’m talking about a deep, deep weariness in your soul that just won’t go away no matter what you try. It’s an exhausting task to keep those masks on. And even if you don’t feel that you’re wearing a mask and you are living a life that’s true to your real Self, remember that an untreated wound can still drain your life energy. With this weariness frequently comes a chronic boredom – you can’t muster any strong sense of purpose or passion for life, and deep down you suspect sometimes that you’re just drifting listlessly with the tide.

3. An unstable approach to guilt and shame.
Just to clarify: guilt is a response to what you’ve done: I did something wrong. Shame is a response to who you are: Something is wrong with me. People whose inner children are severely wounded cannot draw a clear line between guilt and shame. It’s all black-and-white for them. When something negative happens, they either take on all the blame and condemn themselves in the process (a client once told me, to my horror, Yes it’s my fault for [a minor mistake she made at work], I’m s**t and I have a talent for f**king up!), or they reject responsibility completely because their inner child is terrified of being blamed and possibly punished: enter the finger-pointing and mud-slinging. Wounded inner children tend to over-react and “take it personally” when things go wrong, and find it difficult to separate people from issues when solving a dispute.

4. Stuck in a time warp of excessive worrying.
Wounded inner children have lost all sense of time because their attention is focused almost entirely on their wounds. To them, the next catastrophe is just around the corner, and as children, they feel powerless to stop it. Never mind if they’re already adults, their lives are going well and the feared crisis doesn’t happen. The wounded inner child cannot differentiate perception from reality, and therefore can never be at peace. It goes without saying that the wounded inner child never truly lives in the present, but is either fretting about something that happened in the past or anxious about what might happen in the future – or, frequently, both.

5. Inability to trust and/or discern who can be trusted.
Another characteristic of people with wounded inner children is that their relationship networks are inadequate. Either they don’t have friends, their friendships are superficial, or they’re surrounded by frenemies – people who can’t actually be trusted and don’t have their interests at heart. Wounded inner children frequently find themselves also stuck in co-dependent romantic relationships (or disturbingly intense “friendships”) which are not grounded in respectful, loving give-and-take, but rooted in an overwhelming fear of loneliness and a tendency to become overly attached. It’s extremely common, by the way.

6. Distorted perceptions of reality.
Life feels like one long thunderstorm with occasional bursts of sunshine. You live for those moments of peace and happiness; once those precious moments are threatened, you plunge straight into the depths again. I once spoke with a beautiful young woman who needed reassurance about her new love relationship. During our conversation, she become highly emotional and began weeping, saying things like I knew it, I knew this was too good to be true, my boyfriend is leaving me, I wish I could just go to sleep and never wake up… I was alarmed to hear that. When I asked what had happened, she told me that her boyfriend had a severe migraine once and had to go home early from a date. That was enough to convince her that her relationship was over and she had no reason to live! (By the way, I know the boyfriend personally. He loves her to bits and wants to marry her.) Sounds crazy? Perhaps, but anyone would go “crazy” from the pain if their inner children were wounded for so long and never had the chance to heal.

7. Difficulty connecting with oneself, others, Spirit or the Universe.
As I mentioned earlier, wounded inner children cannot focus on anything else other than their pain. Whether consciously or unconsciously, their efforts are spent almost entirely on trying to heal, suppress, or rationalise their hurt feelings. Consequently, it’s hard for them to know what they’re really feeling, to empathise with other people, or to connect with a Higher Power. It’s hard to believe that Spirit and the Universe love you when you can’t even love yourself, after all. By the way, this applies even to spiritual people and light workers. I’ve found that sometimes, the hardest nuts to crack (to put it bluntly) are the people who have psychic gifts and who may even be practitioners. They inevitably hit a roadblock in their spiritual development and wonder why they’re not going anywhere, no matter what they do.

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Now let’s be clear: many of these points can also be explained with other reasons such as intense stress, personality quirks etc. But if many of these points are resonating with you, perhaps it’s time to take a step back and ask yourself if something’s up with your inner child. Last week, I spoke about the importance of being honest with ourselves. I’d like to add that it’s also crucial to be kind to ourselves; maybe that’s our homework for this week, haha! 😀

And next week, I’ll be talking about ways to heal the inner child.

Always remember (even if you’re not feeling it) that you are loved and not alone. This is a broken but beautiful world. Nothing is impossible, and your inner child can be healed. The Universe is kind, and Spirit loves you! Only believe! <3

Bless,
Kelly

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Seeking to connect and heal with Spirit? Please call, text or WhatsApp Kelly at +65 8716 9716, or email hello@kellylightworker.com and we’ll arrange a consultation that best suits your needs.

The stories on this website (including the above recounts) are based on Kelly’s experiences as a lightworker. Some details have been changed to protect the identities of the individuals involved.

Weekend Spirit Message, 21-23 Oct 2016: Even in darkness, starlight.

This Saturday, we make the official switch from Libra to Scorpio season. Universal energies shift their focus from harmony, balance and peace-keeping to a more introspective mood that lasts till 21 November. The Celestial Scorpion’s bullshit radar is on high alert, but there’s no need to jump into fight mode – put your stings and tails away and save them for real emergencies, people!

What’s likely to happen (starting from this weekend) is that as you enter a season of soul-searching, you might learn things about yourself and/or the people and situations around you that make you uncomfortable.

The truth is that no one is all Light or all dark. We are all a mix of white and black and grey and all the colours of the rainbow. So don’t condemn yourself or others when you find out something you didn’t want to know. Face your darkness bravely – it has always been there, and knowing that it’s there doesn’t change a thing – and don’t be afraid.

What matters is what you do with the darkness you find, within and/or around you.

What choices will you make? Are you finally going to get treatment for your depression or eating disorder? Do you honestly think your married lover is going to leave his wife and kids for you, if he hasn’t done so after three years? Will you stop ignoring that terrible pain in your body and see a doctor, despite your terror at what you might hear?

What do you fear? That is your darkness, and the choices you make will either lead you step-by-step into a new dawn of hope, or plunge you further back into black. 

It’s Scorpio season. Universal energies will leave you unsatisfied with superficiality and lies. You’re ready – more ready than you know – to work through the darkness, to seek the truth, to take life by the hand and walk (maybe run or fly!) towards a brighter future.

Because even in the darkest night, the Universe is kind, and She is watching. Spirit is cheering you on and reaching out to you like stars in the night sky. You are never truly, fully alone or forsaken. There is always love, light, and a way.

If the Sun has set and there is no sunlight to guide you, you have the Moon. If the Moon is missing, even in darkness, you have starlight. And if you’re in a place where even the stars aren’t shining, honey, COME OUT OF THAT GRAVE YOU’VE DUG YOURSELF INTO.

Remember: Even in darkness, you have starlight. Be brave, and be blessed.
Have a wonderful weekend!

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Tired of the lies and fakery? Seeking honesty and breakthrough in your life by connecting with Spirit? Please call, text or WhatsApp Kelly at +65 8716 9716, or email hello@kellylightworker.com and we’ll arrange a consultation that best suits your needs.

 

 

 

 

Heal your inner child. Start by being honest with yourself, Part 1.

He sat across the table from me, an advertising executive in his early thirties whose childhood was “ruined”, as he called it, by his abusive father.

While I didn’t deny that, based on the stories he told me, his father was a nasty piece of work, I was somewhat amused by the fact that he didn’t seem to notice that he was behaving in a very similar manner.

The condescending air. The fake Australian accent. The smug disdain towards waiters and other people he assumed were “inferior” to him – including myself.

One of his first questions to me was, “Do you have a proper job at all?”

He kept interrupting throughout the reading. It was very difficult for Spirit to get any messages through when I’d start my sentence and be cut off with a “Yeah, actually I know that already…” in a nasal, whiny drawl.

His family was well-off enough that he didn’t need to worry about getting his needs met, but his acrimonious relationship with his father made him an insecure, miserable person (and frankly, a pain in the backside). I was relieved when the reading ended.

Unfortunately, he started texting and calling me almost everyday for about two months. One symptom of an unhealed inner child is a tendency to cling to people who show kindness, especially if the person is older and/or perceived to be in a position of authority. Mostly it was to talk about himself, how awesome he was, how pathetic everyone else was, and how come nobody in this world seemed to appreciate his greatness.

Finally, I lovingly but firmly told him that he needed to heal cut off all ties with him after he was incredibly rude to another client of mine because, in his words, he liked being “possessive” of me. I blocked him on my phone, e-mail and all social media platforms.

Did I give him chances to change? Yes, many. Did I tell him that he needed to heal and perhaps get professional help? Yes, several times. Did he ignore me and continue to disrespect my wishes, while clinging on to me like a parasite until I disposed of him? Yep.

Is this common? YES.

And this is the danger of indulging an unhealed inner child. You may have suffered terribly (or think you’ve suffered terribly) in your younger years, and my heart goes out to you if that’s truly happened. But you don’t automatically get the right to behave like an idiot, hurt and leech off the people around you (emotionally, financially or otherwise), then bawl and cry victim when you’re called out on your bullsh*t.

Sounds harsh? I don’t mean to hurt anyone. But I’m speaking out because I understand the importance of truly healing the wounded inner child. Wordsworth once famously said that The child is the father of the man, and it’s true. Psychological research indicates that most of our personalities and ways of engaging with the world are fixed by the time we reach the age of four. Factors that influence us at that tender age include our genetics, family dynamics, environment, diet, and a whole range of other elements – many beyond our control.

If you think your inner child is wounded and needs healing (I’ll discuss more of that in next week’s post), it’s far more productive to take steps to heal, rather than lash out and hurt the people around you – then wonder why you’re stuck in dysfunctional patterns of relating with people, and why no one wants to be around you.

Now let’s get this clear. I’m creating this post not to condemn, but to reach out and help. Sometimes clarity hurts, but the first step to healing is recognising that you’re wounded in the first place. Universal energies this week seem to be pointing us in the direction of honest, intense, emotional inner work, and if this resonates with you, that’s wonderful. Know that the Universe is kind and Spirit is on your side, cheering you on and ever willing to help once you ask.

Understand that healing entails being kind to yourself. And the ultimate kindness you can offer yourself is honesty.

You can do this. Be brave… and be blessed. <3

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Planning a wedding? This Saturday 22 Oct from 12-4 pm, come on down to Your Wedding Story, a bridal event organised by Hotel Jen Tanglin and Singapore Brides! And get a reading as well! I’ll be offering Angel/oracle card readings AND, *drumroll* introducing my BFF and fellow psychic, Steve! He’s offering readings with me. Folks, this is the guy I consult when I need a reading – Steve is GIFTED! 

Click on this link HERE for more!
And if you’re wondering what Steve looks like, here’s our promotional pic for this event:

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See you there! 

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Seeking to connect and heal with Spirit? Please call, text or WhatsApp Kelly at +65 8716 9716, or email hello@kellylightworker.com and we’ll arrange a consultation that best suits your needs.

The stories on this website (including the above recounts) are based on Kelly’s experiences as a lightworker. Some details have been changed to protect the identities of the individuals involved.

Sometimes we break so we can heal… but our stories aren’t over yet.

Once, when I was seven, I fell while playing with friends and dislocated my left elbow. My mother whisked me off to a sinseh, a traditional Chinese physician who yanked my swollen limb hither and thither until we all heard a loud crack, and I could move my arm again.

My left arm was healed. Or so we thought. Over the weeks that followed the swelling subsided, but then my mother noticed that I couldn’t straighten my left arm fully. Also, the elbow joint stuck out at a slightly unnatural angle, and that arm was considerably weaker than before.

You can’t fool a Cantonese mother. (Especially not when she’s the one you inherited your gifts from.) Ignoring my protests, she took me to another sinseh – an old man with a long white beard, who took one look at my poor left arm and said:

“It’s still out of joint, but I can reset it.”

He instructed me to bend my left arm. Then he took out a long strip of coarse, off-white linen, draped it over the crook of my arm, and pulled.

And pulled.
And PULLED!

POP! Suddenly the agony ceased; a deep wave of relief overtook me. The niggling numbness and discomfort that had dogged my left arm – and that I’d grown to ignore, until my mother stepped in – was gone, completely.

The sinseh placed a poultice of aromatic herbs around my newly reset elbow joint, then wrapped it with a long strip of yellowed linen.

“I’ll change the herbs and bandages in a fortnight, then in a fortnight after that, and you’ll be healed in six weeks,” he said gravely. “You’re a lucky little girl. If you’d waited a day or two longer, your elbow would have set – at the wrong angle. I would’ve had to dislocate your elbow again just to heal it.”

*          *          *

Darren clearly had trust issues. At least, they were as clear as the vision I saw.

As a clairvoyant, one of my strongest Spiritual senses is sight. When I tune in to a client, I “see” information about that person that Spirit deems appropriate for me to know in order to help.

The vision I had of Darren was a puppy, its right hind leg broken and curled towards its body in a defensive posture. The puppy stood forlornly in the middle of a flowing stream, injured, alone, and uncertain of where to go. The puppy represented Darren’s emotional state: trapped in the flow of changes around him, afraid and unable to move forward because of deep emotional wounds. Usually, such visions indicate a need to identify the source of the hurt, to release forgiveness and commit to a period of inner healing.

Darren nodded when I explained the vision to him. “Sounds like me. I grew up in a broken household – my dad used to get drunk and hit my mum. Finally he walked out and never came back. I don’t trust people easily. But it’s not always my fault. My ex-girlfriend really pushed my buttons. When I found out she was cheating on me, I confronted her and she dumped me just like that. It happened last year.”

– I’m sorry to hear that. How did you find out?
“I hacked into her mobile phone from my laptop.”
– (Sigh.) Darren, a lot of healing needs to be done here. Besides Spiritual assistance, I’d like you to consider energy healing and some counselling.

Darren nodded. “I’ll consider it… eventually. But for now I’d like to ask about this girl I’ve just met.” For a moment, his eyes lit up. “I want to know if Melissa’s the one for me.”

The cards he picked were: Ten of Swords, Six of Pentacles, The Wheel of Fortune, and The World.

– Darren, this looks like a relationship with some karmic elements in it. It appears that that you and your partner have known each other from past lives. You’ve arranged to meet again in this life to iron out karmic kinks and grow with each other. The Six of Pentacles shows me that your relationship with Melissa, both then and now, gave you great happiness. The Wheel of Fortune indicates that this time, it could go either way; it’s usually a more optimistic card, but the Ten of Swords – I call this the “crash and burn” card – indicates that a lot of inner work needs to be done for this relationship to work. Either way, The World is here to reassure you that what’s meant to happen will happen, so long as you’re willing to take responsibility for your inner healing, and co-create your destiny with the Universe for your highest and greatest good.

Darren looked disturbed.

– What’s wrong?
“She’s so beautiful. Will she cheat on me, too?”
– Wait, you’re a couple already?
“Not yet, but we’ve been dating for a couple of months now.”
– Darren, you need to CHILL. And work on healing those trust issues before they hurt a perfectly good, soon-to-be relationship with Melissa.
“Is she cheating on me?”
– She’s not even your girlfriend yet. Darren, calm down. She obviously likes you, everything is going in your favour, but you have crashed and burned emotionally and you must heal, for your sake and hers. Only you can make that decision to go for counselling and energy healing. Please consider it.

*          *          *

Two weeks later, Hashim – the client who recommended Darren to me – called.

“Kelly, I trust you and I know you wouldn’t say anything to sabotage your clients’ wellbeing. And knowing Darren as I do, I’m pretty sure it’s self-sabotage.

“Darren had a huge public fight with Melissa last week. He accused her of cheating on him with a random stranger she said hi to. He cut her out of his life, and he’s been drinking himself blind since.”

*          *          *

Healing is never a straight or simple path. And many times, our loved ones are the ones who uncover our unhealed vulnerabilities.

Darren’s deep wounds, stemming from his abusive childhood and recently ended relationship, had left him emotionally broken and spiritually disjointed. Until he takes those steps towards healing, his pain will follow him and influence every decision he makes, sabotaging his chances at happiness.

But the Universe is kind. And in Her own way, the Universe will continue to send opportunities to expose Darren’s areas of wounding and weakness – in order to heal.

Darren can choose to hide behind alcohol, like his father. He can continue to project his fears on other people, such as Melissa, then cut them off – and in a sense, cut himself off from a chance at happiness.

Or Darren can choose to be brave and work on himself. Take responsibility for his blind spots and injuries. Seek help, healing and assistance from Spirit and from other people.

Darren’s destiny is his to decide. Right now, Darren is in a dark place. But that doesn’t mean his story is over – far from it.

I’m sharing this story to remind us all that THIS IS LIFE. I’m a lightworker and this is a spiritual website, but let’s not ignore the fact that pain and darkness also co-exist alongside love and light. It’s not always rainbows and unicorns.

Sometimes, with a long-standing injury, one must break and re-break in order to begin healing.

If this is your situation – you’re stuck in a holding pattern of dysfunction in any aspect of your life – I want you to understand that your story isn’t over yet. The Universe is watching, waiting for you to arise and co-create your life with Her. And Spirit is cheering you on, ever ready to assist you once you ask.

May the love and light of Spirit guide your path as you break out of that pattern, towards the bright and happy future that you desire.

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Seeking to connect and heal with Spirit? Please call, text or WhatsApp Kelly at +65 8716 9716, or email hello@kellylightworker.com and we’ll arrange a consultation that best suits your needs.

The stories on this website (including the above recounts) are based on Kelly’s experiences as a lightworker. Some details have been changed to protect the identities of the individuals involved.