This Week’s Tarot, 2-8 Jan 2017

Kelly is a natural-born Spirit channel, psychic medium and lightworker based in Singapore. A gifted oracle, she offers Angel and Tarot card readings, animal communication sessions, and energy healing services.

Happy New Year, everyone! We enter 2017, numerologically a Number 1 Year. This is the year of new beginnings, of building up from the ground after leaving behind the old energies in 2016 that no longer serve our best interests. What we choose to focus on and build upon this year is crucial: it will significantly influence the course of the new nine-year cycle in our lives, shaping what we learn and how we grow.

If you want 2017 to be a great year and an awesome start to this nine-year cycle, read This Week’s Tarot! Here we go! Continue reading

Healing The Inner Child, Part 3: 6 steps to healing.

(Click here for the first article on being honest with your inner child.)
(Click here for the second article on how to recognise a wounded inner child.)

In this article, we explore some ways to heal the inner child. As I’ve mentioned in previous articles (see above), living in a beautiful but broken world pretty much guarantees that everyone has some degree of inner-child wounding. If your inner child is wounded, you are normal and you have nothing to fear. Healing is possible as far as we allow it to happen. So it’s all good. <3

The main characteristic of a child is dependence. A child depends on parents or primary caregivers in order to survive, to thrive and develop a stable, functional sense of Self with which to face the world. This is why people with wounded inner children tend to swing between extremes of pushing family, friends and loved ones away, or pulling and clinging onto them. Confused and chaotic relationships result, bringing misery to everyone.

Children need parents. It’s as simple as that. Wounded inner children especially need to feel that they are unconditionally loved by another human being. Here’s the good news: healing the inner child with unconditional love is possible. Here’s even better news: you’re by far the best person for the job. To heal your inner child, YOU will need to become your own parent.

Healing is possible as far as we allow it to happen. To heal your inner child, YOU will need to become your own parent.

Here are 6 steps to take towards healing your wounded inner child. Here we go! 🙂

1. Come out and play.
Remember how you were like as a child: your likes, your dislikes, the many adorable quirks that make you, you. What activities did you like to do? Go do ’em. It could be blowing bubbles on a breezy evening, building sandcastles, making up silly songs and singing them aloud (I do that a lot, lol!). If you’re embarrassed, that’s just your ego and/or internalised critic talking. Ignore them. Focus on having fun. This is necessary in order to create a safe environment for our inner child sub-personality to express themselves and develop a trusting relationship with our adult personality, where their needs and emotions are validated.

2. Be ready and willing to re-connect.
While processing childhood memories and engaging in childhood activities, remember that intention is key. This is a Spiritual Law that’s also reflected in the physical world around us. Re-connect with your inner child with the intention to love, accept, and heal. Be mindful that you are approaching a very pure and beautiful part of your Soul, one that you might not have connected with for a long time. Approach your inner-child healing with a sense of dread, shame or hastiness (by that I mean a sense of Let’s get this done and over with) and, more likely than not, you’ll find your inner child running away from you instead. You might need patience before the inner child does decide to come out and play with you – but you’ll know when it happens.

3. Brace + Embrace yourself.
When the inner child trusts you enough to reveal himself or herself to you, you’ll know. It starts with fleeting moments of emotion, or vague childhood flashbacks that seem to come out of nowhere. That’s your inner child beginning to communicate with you. Honour these sacred moments. Don’t over-think; experience, then release them. If those memories, thoughts and emotions are important enough, your inner child will remind you.

As I said earlier, if your inner-child work is beginning to make inroads, you’ll know. That’s when you’ll have to brace yourselfno running away, no denying or suppressing, no rationalising or finger-pointing – because the wounds are going to re-open so you can clean out the gunk and heal them.

Some of those wounds are going to hurt like hell. You might experience the following: shock, anger, sorrow, grief, remorse, regret, disgust, loneliness… just to name a few.

And that is when you’re going to become your own parent.

That’s when you embrace your inner child and let that pure spark in your Soul cry its little lungs out. No judgement, no condemnation and most importantly no rationalisation at this stage: trying to “fix” negative emotions with logic only worsens the injury by invalidating how your inner child felt, undoing the hard work of getting your inner child to trust you.

Enraged with your grandmother for passing on, despite promising you that she would fight her illness? Hated your parents for preferring your brother over you? Horrified that you were molested by a trusted family friend and couldn’t tell anyone? Felt (or feeling) completely misunderstood, alone, and lost?

Release the toxicity that has been brewing in forgotten corners of your Soul for so long. Let it all out. Then do this next step:

4. Forgive.
The first and most important person you need to forgive is yourself. All of you. Know and understand that despite all your feelings, your mistakes and flaws, both the current you and your inner child, you are still deserving of love.

The extent to which you are willing to forgive those who have hurt you depends on many factors, and ultimately is your decision to make. But remember that the act of forgiveness does NOT excuse, validate or justify what those people did – especially if we’re talking about acts of abuse. Choosing to forgive people who hurt you is more for your own benefit than anyone else’s. It releases you from the shackles of remembering and holding on to the pain of the past. It’s up to you. Take it at your own pace, and remember you are still loved.

5. Live mindfully.
Mindfulness refers to being self-aware, self-loving and self-accepting. It requires a certain focus and discipline in choosing to release negative mindsets, values and/or emotions, and consciously choosing new, more positive ones. For instance, after you have embraced your anger at your parents’ preferential treatment of your siblings and forgiven them, make the conscious choice of re-perceiving your parents with compassion: as people with wounded inner children themselves who didn’t know better. Again, I’m not asking you to make excuses for them – you don’t have to. But taking a mindful approach to yourself and other people can do wonders for your own healing.

Another (often overlooked) part of mindful living involves the aspect of physical care. Proper rest, diet and exercise are in order. Do make positive, practical changes to your lifestyle as part of your inner-child healing! You’ll be so glad you did.

6. Seek assistance.
You don’t have to do all this by yourself. Seek a support network if necessary. Time to rely on trusted family members, friends and loved ones. Speak to a therapist or counsellor and learn new stress management methods or conflict resolution techniques. On a more holistic front, consider a healing consultation with a holistic health professional or Spirit worker. What is important is that you choose the people and the methods that you feel comfortable with. You are not alone!

In closing, I’d like to share a song called ‘Glósóli’ by a band called Sigur Ros. This song and video are heartbreakingly beautiful, and the theme is about childhood and our inner child. Watch to the end (there’s a lot to learn from this video), and get those tissues ready.

And as you’re watching, do ask yourself:
Which inner child am I like in this video?
Which inner child do I want to become?

May your journey towards inner-child healing and wholeness be blessed by Spirit and the Universe. You’re going to be just fine. Love you all. <3

Kelly

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Seeking to connect and heal with Spirit? Please call, text or WhatsApp Kelly at +65 8716 9716, or email hello@kellylightworker.com and we’ll arrange a consultation that best suits your needs.

Weekend Spirit Message, 29-30 Oct 2016: Break free from secrets and restraints.

I’m writing this post at the front foyer of a cosy little holiday villa in the heart of rural Ubud, a town in Bali, Indonesia. We had a long and wonderful day today, re-connecting with nature and visiting some spiritual sites. It’s almost 10 pm now. The crickets are singing, the owls swoop past silently on their nightly hunts, the breeze is refreshing and slightly chilly as it crosses over the rice paddy fields right outside my door.

The night sky is filled with stars but I can’t actually see the moon right now, for a very simple reason: it’s a New Moon this Sunday 30 October. This New Moon in Scorpio brings with it incredible transformative power, because Scorpio is the sign that tends to be associated with secrecy, and as many of us know, it’s the things we keep secret – the things no one talks about – that can hold great (and sometimes terrible) power over us.

It’s the things we keep secret – the things no one talks about – that can hold great (and sometimes terrible) power over us.

This weekend, ask yourself what holds you back, shuts you up, ties you down, and restrains you from reaching your full potential. New Moons bring with them the energy of new beginnings. Perhaps it’s time to identify your glass ceilings, hidden traps, and invisible shackles – and release yourself from them. Break free from habits, relationships, and situations that no longer serve your highest good, but that you never dared to confront before.

This New Moon is closely situated to Mercury, the planet of communication. Folks, the message is clear: break free from your secret bondages with the assistance of others. Don’t be a stranger! Be courageous: share the unspoken issues that trouble you with people you can trust, or find a support network to assist you as you transform, liberating yourself from the bondage of your secret or suppressed concerns to attain the best life you are meant to lead.

Let this Sunday begin a season of change, rebirth, and new growth. The Full Moon in Scorpio falls on 10 May 2017, concluding this season of transformation. It may not be the easiest time, but it is for the best. You’ve got this.

Have a great weekend ahead! <3

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Seeking to connect and heal with Spirit? Please call, text or WhatsApp Kelly at +65 8716 9716, or email hello@kellylightworker.com and we’ll arrange a consultation that best suits your needs.

Healing the inner child, Part 2: 7 signs of a wounded inner child.

(Click here for the first article.)

Do you remember how it felt to be a child? Some of you recall happy and stable childhoods where you were loved and nurtured. Some of you remember feeling smothered, knowing that you were loved but vaguely unsure of why it made you unhappy. Some of you barely felt loved at all. And sadly, some remember being neglected or actively abused.

Many of my clients who come to me with seemingly insurmountable challenges in their lives, more often than not, realise during their consultations with me that their current problems are rooted in events and situations that occurred when they were young. Wounded as children and told to Get over it, Stop crying or I’ll hit you again, or Sit down and shut up, we did as we were told in order to avoid further mistreatment. But deep inside us, our inner child never healed from unresolved hurts.

How do wounded children behave? We’ve all seen young children tripping, falling over, and screaming their lungs out. We’ve seen frightened kids freeze, wet their pants, hurt themselves, hit other kids. Wounded children express their pain to the world in the hope that someone will help.

It doesn’t matter what age you are now. If your inner child has been wounded and left unhealed, you will tend to revert to certain actions, attitudes and behaviours that reveal that inner child’s vulnerability. You may have grown, but that inner child is still right there, deep inside you. Waiting for love, help and comfort. And in times of stress, that wounded inner child comes out and hijacks the show, no matter how well you’ve been running it.

The young man who fights with his boss – who resembles his own father. The middle-aged woman who can’t trust men, then hates herself for being single. The young woman whose eating disorders have taken over her life.

There is no one whose inner child is completely unhurt; in this beautiful but broken world of ours, there are only degrees of hurting, and degrees of healing. What is important is that we recognise when our inner child calls to us for healing, and that we respond.

And that’s where the challenge lies for many of us. We’re so well-conditioned to rationalise our childhood experiences, to suppress our negative emotions, that even when Spirit lovingly reveals to some of my clients that they have inner-child issues to deal with, they resist.

“Oh, that can’t be me. I’m strong now.”
“That was such a long time ago.”
“I’ve forgotten. It doesn’t matter anymore.”

Healing can only begin when we see and recognise the wounds. Here are seven signs of a wounded inner child that I’ve noted, both from my own personal experience as well as my professional encounters with close to a thousand clients. You may or may not find that these signs resonate with what you’re going through. There’s no “one-size-fits-all” definition for this, but you might find this list useful. Here we go:

1. Playing roles + wearing masks to hide your true Self.
Do you find that you’re a very different person around different people, almost as if you were playing roles to please other people, get the job done, meet your own objectives etc? And that if you were asked to strip away all those roles you play and masks you put on to get through the day, you might not know who lies beneath that elaborate masquerade? This is frequently a response to parental or familial pressure for us to live, look or behave a certain way in order to gain approval. For instance, many closeted LGBT people I meet (especially those from conservative or religious family backgrounds) struggle with this.

2. Weariness.
I’m not talking about the usual tiredness or stress from work or life’s issues. I’m talking about a deep, deep weariness in your soul that just won’t go away no matter what you try. It’s an exhausting task to keep those masks on. And even if you don’t feel that you’re wearing a mask and you are living a life that’s true to your real Self, remember that an untreated wound can still drain your life energy. With this weariness frequently comes a chronic boredom – you can’t muster any strong sense of purpose or passion for life, and deep down you suspect sometimes that you’re just drifting listlessly with the tide.

3. An unstable approach to guilt and shame.
Just to clarify: guilt is a response to what you’ve done: I did something wrong. Shame is a response to who you are: Something is wrong with me. People whose inner children are severely wounded cannot draw a clear line between guilt and shame. It’s all black-and-white for them. When something negative happens, they either take on all the blame and condemn themselves in the process (a client once told me, to my horror, Yes it’s my fault for [a minor mistake she made at work], I’m s**t and I have a talent for f**king up!), or they reject responsibility completely because their inner child is terrified of being blamed and possibly punished: enter the finger-pointing and mud-slinging. Wounded inner children tend to over-react and “take it personally” when things go wrong, and find it difficult to separate people from issues when solving a dispute.

4. Stuck in a time warp of excessive worrying.
Wounded inner children have lost all sense of time because their attention is focused almost entirely on their wounds. To them, the next catastrophe is just around the corner, and as children, they feel powerless to stop it. Never mind if they’re already adults, their lives are going well and the feared crisis doesn’t happen. The wounded inner child cannot differentiate perception from reality, and therefore can never be at peace. It goes without saying that the wounded inner child never truly lives in the present, but is either fretting about something that happened in the past or anxious about what might happen in the future – or, frequently, both.

5. Inability to trust and/or discern who can be trusted.
Another characteristic of people with wounded inner children is that their relationship networks are inadequate. Either they don’t have friends, their friendships are superficial, or they’re surrounded by frenemies – people who can’t actually be trusted and don’t have their interests at heart. Wounded inner children frequently find themselves also stuck in co-dependent romantic relationships (or disturbingly intense “friendships”) which are not grounded in respectful, loving give-and-take, but rooted in an overwhelming fear of loneliness and a tendency to become overly attached. It’s extremely common, by the way.

6. Distorted perceptions of reality.
Life feels like one long thunderstorm with occasional bursts of sunshine. You live for those moments of peace and happiness; once those precious moments are threatened, you plunge straight into the depths again. I once spoke with a beautiful young woman who needed reassurance about her new love relationship. During our conversation, she become highly emotional and began weeping, saying things like I knew it, I knew this was too good to be true, my boyfriend is leaving me, I wish I could just go to sleep and never wake up… I was alarmed to hear that. When I asked what had happened, she told me that her boyfriend had a severe migraine once and had to go home early from a date. That was enough to convince her that her relationship was over and she had no reason to live! (By the way, I know the boyfriend personally. He loves her to bits and wants to marry her.) Sounds crazy? Perhaps, but anyone would go “crazy” from the pain if their inner children were wounded for so long and never had the chance to heal.

7. Difficulty connecting with oneself, others, Spirit or the Universe.
As I mentioned earlier, wounded inner children cannot focus on anything else other than their pain. Whether consciously or unconsciously, their efforts are spent almost entirely on trying to heal, suppress, or rationalise their hurt feelings. Consequently, it’s hard for them to know what they’re really feeling, to empathise with other people, or to connect with a Higher Power. It’s hard to believe that Spirit and the Universe love you when you can’t even love yourself, after all. By the way, this applies even to spiritual people and light workers. I’ve found that sometimes, the hardest nuts to crack (to put it bluntly) are the people who have psychic gifts and who may even be practitioners. They inevitably hit a roadblock in their spiritual development and wonder why they’re not going anywhere, no matter what they do.

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Now let’s be clear: many of these points can also be explained with other reasons such as intense stress, personality quirks etc. But if many of these points are resonating with you, perhaps it’s time to take a step back and ask yourself if something’s up with your inner child. Last week, I spoke about the importance of being honest with ourselves. I’d like to add that it’s also crucial to be kind to ourselves; maybe that’s our homework for this week, haha! 😀

And next week, I’ll be talking about ways to heal the inner child.

Always remember (even if you’re not feeling it) that you are loved and not alone. This is a broken but beautiful world. Nothing is impossible, and your inner child can be healed. The Universe is kind, and Spirit loves you! Only believe! <3

Bless,
Kelly

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Seeking to connect and heal with Spirit? Please call, text or WhatsApp Kelly at +65 8716 9716, or email hello@kellylightworker.com and we’ll arrange a consultation that best suits your needs.

The stories on this website (including the above recounts) are based on Kelly’s experiences as a lightworker. Some details have been changed to protect the identities of the individuals involved.

Heal your inner child. Start by being honest with yourself, Part 1.

He sat across the table from me, an advertising executive in his early thirties whose childhood was “ruined”, as he called it, by his abusive father.

While I didn’t deny that, based on the stories he told me, his father was a nasty piece of work, I was somewhat amused by the fact that he didn’t seem to notice that he was behaving in a very similar manner.

The condescending air. The fake Australian accent. The smug disdain towards waiters and other people he assumed were “inferior” to him – including myself.

One of his first questions to me was, “Do you have a proper job at all?”

He kept interrupting throughout the reading. It was very difficult for Spirit to get any messages through when I’d start my sentence and be cut off with a “Yeah, actually I know that already…” in a nasal, whiny drawl.

His family was well-off enough that he didn’t need to worry about getting his needs met, but his acrimonious relationship with his father made him an insecure, miserable person (and frankly, a pain in the backside). I was relieved when the reading ended.

Unfortunately, he started texting and calling me almost everyday for about two months. One symptom of an unhealed inner child is a tendency to cling to people who show kindness, especially if the person is older and/or perceived to be in a position of authority. Mostly it was to talk about himself, how awesome he was, how pathetic everyone else was, and how come nobody in this world seemed to appreciate his greatness.

Finally, I lovingly but firmly told him that he needed to heal cut off all ties with him after he was incredibly rude to another client of mine because, in his words, he liked being “possessive” of me. I blocked him on my phone, e-mail and all social media platforms.

Did I give him chances to change? Yes, many. Did I tell him that he needed to heal and perhaps get professional help? Yes, several times. Did he ignore me and continue to disrespect my wishes, while clinging on to me like a parasite until I disposed of him? Yep.

Is this common? YES.

And this is the danger of indulging an unhealed inner child. You may have suffered terribly (or think you’ve suffered terribly) in your younger years, and my heart goes out to you if that’s truly happened. But you don’t automatically get the right to behave like an idiot, hurt and leech off the people around you (emotionally, financially or otherwise), then bawl and cry victim when you’re called out on your bullsh*t.

Sounds harsh? I don’t mean to hurt anyone. But I’m speaking out because I understand the importance of truly healing the wounded inner child. Wordsworth once famously said that The child is the father of the man, and it’s true. Psychological research indicates that most of our personalities and ways of engaging with the world are fixed by the time we reach the age of four. Factors that influence us at that tender age include our genetics, family dynamics, environment, diet, and a whole range of other elements – many beyond our control.

If you think your inner child is wounded and needs healing (I’ll discuss more of that in next week’s post), it’s far more productive to take steps to heal, rather than lash out and hurt the people around you – then wonder why you’re stuck in dysfunctional patterns of relating with people, and why no one wants to be around you.

Now let’s get this clear. I’m creating this post not to condemn, but to reach out and help. Sometimes clarity hurts, but the first step to healing is recognising that you’re wounded in the first place. Universal energies this week seem to be pointing us in the direction of honest, intense, emotional inner work, and if this resonates with you, that’s wonderful. Know that the Universe is kind and Spirit is on your side, cheering you on and ever willing to help once you ask.

Understand that healing entails being kind to yourself. And the ultimate kindness you can offer yourself is honesty.

You can do this. Be brave… and be blessed. <3

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Planning a wedding? This Saturday 22 Oct from 12-4 pm, come on down to Your Wedding Story, a bridal event organised by Hotel Jen Tanglin and Singapore Brides! And get a reading as well! I’ll be offering Angel/oracle card readings AND, *drumroll* introducing my BFF and fellow psychic, Steve! He’s offering readings with me. Folks, this is the guy I consult when I need a reading – Steve is GIFTED! 

Click on this link HERE for more!
And if you’re wondering what Steve looks like, here’s our promotional pic for this event:

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See you there! 

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Seeking to connect and heal with Spirit? Please call, text or WhatsApp Kelly at +65 8716 9716, or email hello@kellylightworker.com and we’ll arrange a consultation that best suits your needs.

The stories on this website (including the above recounts) are based on Kelly’s experiences as a lightworker. Some details have been changed to protect the identities of the individuals involved.