Daniel’s first and only appointment with me was an energy healing session, about two years ago.
“I want to see how powerful you are,” he proclaimed, arms folded across his chest. His smile was tight, his eyes cold.
I scanned his aura. Oh dear. Daniel was armed to the teeth with energy grids; he also had a lot of energetic attachments (when the latter is present, it’s not a good sign). It was clear that Daniel had consulted many spiritual practitioners and sought healing, protection, activation, and all the bells and whistles that went with those who were very proud of their spiritual growth – or maybe just those who were very proud, period.
“You see my aura? I’m well-connected with some of the best in this field.”
(– Riiight, are you going to ask me if I know who you are?)
“Do you know who I am? If you’re good, I’ll spread the word about you and make you famous.”
– Let’s see if I can help you.
The energy healing session was uneventful. Daniel complained of soreness in his back and arms; I had to remove some energetic hooks and spikes from those areas and channel healing into the wounds in his aura. Otherwise, no surprises from a man who had offended many who, in turn, retaliated with energetic and psychic attacks against him via negative thoughts, words and intentions – the hooks and spikes that I saw.
However, Daniel appeared increasingly anxious as the session progressed. He even flinched near the end of the session, when my hand brushed past his shoulder at one point.
I didn’t have to wonder why for too long. Daniel turned to me at the end of the healing session and muttered gruffly: “Hmmph. I knew it. Your energies are not resonant with mine. I’m gifted too, you know.”
Daniel demanded a full refund, which I did not agree to. I asked why.
“Because you lack integrity. I had a vision – I’m clairvoyant, you know. We were rivals in our past lives. You were a powerful sorceress who envied the good work I did and betrayed me to be executed. You nasty woman. I want my money back.”
– Daniel, I don’t think a negative past-life experience you think you saw, even if it were true, justifies a refund for a service already rendered.
Once Daniel realised his shtick wasn’t working, he left indignantly, mumbling something about “taking the high road” and “you’ll get your karma” as he went.
“You nasty woman. I want my money back.”
I asked around and found out later that Daniel was, as I’d suspected, a spiritual ‘junkie’ – consulting one spiritual practitioner after another to satiate his addiction to attention readings and healings.
Also, he was a self-proclaimed lightworker. Last I heard, he was about to sue someone for defamation – again, something about unethical conduct and “upholding justice”.
* * *
When May saw me for a reading last year, I didn’t expect her to bring her own oracle deck, or to impose an oracle card reading on me after our session ended. (Note to all aspiring oracle card readers: it’s not a good idea to force people to accept a reading from you.) I won’t say how that reading turned out, but at least her cards were pretty to look at.
May kept in touch and, in the months that we were communicating, made it a point to highlight how “well-connected” and “established” she was in the spiritual community. She offered me a joint business venture opportunity, which I declined. She offered to give me business contacts in Hong Kong and Macau, but that didn’t happen either (on hindsight, whew!).
Like Daniel, May was fixated with the idea of being powerful and gifted and serving the Highest Light. However, May’s intention, like Daniel’s, had very little to do with a genuine desire to uphold the greatest good, and more to do with an obsession with presenting herself as a beacon of (self-)righteousness.
Note to all aspiring oracle card readers: it’s not a good idea to force people to accept a reading from you.
I didn’t think too much about it – my philosophy is to live and let live, so long as no harm is done – until one day, when I received a phone call from someone claiming to be an acquaintance of May’s.
“I’m Phoebe. May recommended you to me. Could you come to my office and give a feng shui reading of the space, please?”
– I’m not a feng shui reader, Phoebe. Where did you get that idea?
A confused silence. Then:
“… May says you’re her good friend. She says you went with her to give feng shui analyses of some potential spaces for the yoga centre she’s opening this year.”
– No, Phoebe. Not true. That never happened. I’m sorry I can’t help, but I hope you find the right feng shui reader for your needs.
May had been talking about setting up a yoga centre for some time, but my role as her BFF was news to me. May’s desperation to be validated as someone important in the spiritual and holistic health community was leading her down a dark, deceptive and dangerous path.
I finally stopped communicating with May, after an attempt to clarify the “Kelly’s my personal feng shui reader” incident met with more glib distortions and denials on her part.
That was a year ago. As far as I know, there’s no yoga centre yet.
* * *
I’ve shared before about how we need Light, in order to find and keep Love. We need to discover and embrace ourselves as unique sparks emanating from a Divine Source.
Just as we cannot expect others to give us the love we deny ourselves, neither should we manipulate others into giving us validation as a substitute for genuine ability, talent and integrity.
Walking in the Light begins with the choice to be real. We will never truly ‘walk in the Light’ until we learn to see the darkness in ourselves and deal with it accordingly. This is hard work, folks. It’s never comfortable to look within and acknowledge our flaws and weaknesses.
But the alternative is self-delusion, which is worse. It’s darkness masquerading as Light. Choosing to believe in lies, despite the red flags and warnings your circumstances and the people around you are issuing, only sets you up for destruction.
Someone once said that we will know a tree by its fruit: a good tree bears good fruit and a bad tree, poor fruit. Now, don’t get me wrong – in life, we all make mistakes and face challenges. Also, everyone goes through tough spells once in a while. But when the bad times consistently outnumber the good, and when other people keep reflecting negativity back to you, it’s time for some honest self-reflection.
Walking in the Light begins with the choice to be real.
If you complain that most people you meet are jerks and a**holes, have you wondered why you’re the common denominator? If you consider yourself a lightworker, spiritual practitioner, or even just a good person, but you’re often enmeshed in drama and darkness, could it be the case that like attracts like?
No judgement here – we’re all human. Only remember, dear one, that walking in Light is essentially the journey to wholeness. And that can only be achieved by keeping it real.
You know what else is real? The Love of Spirit, the truth of the Universal Laws (such as karma), and the kindness of the Universe. So if you’re on that journey towards discovering the real, authentic you, and you’re struggling with the darkness within, keep working on yourself. You are still loved, and not alone. You are still deserving of love. And working on your darkness to bring in more Light is one of the best ways you can love yourself.
I wish you the very best.
Love and Light,
* * * * *
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Or e-mail: firstname.lastname@example.org
The stories on this website (including the above recounts) are based on Kelly’s experiences as a lightworker. Some details have been changed to protect the identities of the individuals involved.