He sat across the table from me, an advertising executive in his early thirties whose childhood was “ruined”, as he called it, by his abusive father.
While I didn’t deny that, based on the stories he told me, his father was a nasty piece of work, I was somewhat amused by the fact that he didn’t seem to notice that he was behaving in a very similar manner.
The condescending air. The fake Australian accent. The smug disdain towards waiters and other people he assumed were “inferior” to him – including myself.
One of his first questions to me was, “Do you have a proper job at all?”
He kept interrupting throughout the reading. It was very difficult for Spirit to get any messages through when I’d start my sentence and be cut off with a “Yeah, actually I know that already…” in a nasal, whiny drawl.
His family was well-off enough that he didn’t need to worry about getting his needs met, but his acrimonious relationship with his father made him an insecure, miserable person (and frankly, a pain in the backside). I was relieved when the reading ended.
Unfortunately, he started texting and calling me almost everyday for about two months. One symptom of an unhealed inner child is a tendency to cling to people who show kindness, especially if the person is older and/or perceived to be in a position of authority. Mostly it was to talk about himself, how awesome he was, how pathetic everyone else was, and how come nobody in this world seemed to appreciate his greatness.
lovingly but firmly told him that he needed to heal cut off all ties with him after he was incredibly rude to another client of mine because, in his words, he liked being “possessive” of me. I blocked him on my phone, e-mail and all social media platforms.
Did I give him chances to change? Yes, many. Did I tell him that he needed to heal and perhaps get professional help? Yes, several times. Did he ignore me and continue to disrespect my wishes, while clinging on to me like a parasite until I disposed of him? Yep.
Is this common? YES.
And this is the danger of indulging an unhealed inner child. You may have suffered terribly (or think you’ve suffered terribly) in your younger years, and my heart goes out to you if that’s truly happened. But you don’t automatically get the right to behave like an idiot, hurt and leech off the people around you (emotionally, financially or otherwise), then bawl and cry victim when you’re called out on your bullsh*t.
Sounds harsh? I don’t mean to hurt anyone. But I’m speaking out because I understand the importance of truly healing the wounded inner child. Wordsworth once famously said that The child is the father of the man, and it’s true. Psychological research indicates that most of our personalities and ways of engaging with the world are fixed by the time we reach the age of four. Factors that influence us at that tender age include our genetics, family dynamics, environment, diet, and a whole range of other elements – many beyond our control.
If you think your inner child is wounded and needs healing (I’ll discuss more of that in next week’s post), it’s far more productive to take steps to heal, rather than lash out and hurt the people around you – then wonder why you’re stuck in dysfunctional patterns of relating with people, and why no one wants to be around you.
Now let’s get this clear. I’m creating this post not to condemn, but to reach out and help. Sometimes clarity hurts, but the first step to healing is recognising that you’re wounded in the first place. Universal energies this week seem to be pointing us in the direction of honest, intense, emotional inner work, and if this resonates with you, that’s wonderful. Know that the Universe is kind and Spirit is on your side, cheering you on and ever willing to help once you ask.
Understand that healing entails being kind to yourself. And the ultimate kindness you can offer yourself is honesty.
You can do this. Be brave… and be blessed. <3
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Planning a wedding? This Saturday 22 Oct from 12-4 pm, come on down to Your Wedding Story, a bridal event organised by Hotel Jen Tanglin and Singapore Brides! And get a reading as well! I’ll be offering Angel/oracle card readings AND, *drumroll* introducing my BFF and fellow psychic, Steve! He’s offering readings with me. Folks, this is the guy I consult when I need a reading – Steve is GIFTED!
Click on this link HERE for more!
And if you’re wondering what Steve looks like, here’s our promotional pic for this event:
See you there!
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Seeking assistance from Spirit for love/career/your future, energy healing for people and spaces, or pet communication?
Or e-mail: firstname.lastname@example.org
The stories on this website (including the above recounts) are based on Kelly’s experiences as a lightworker. Some details have been changed to protect the identities of the individuals involved.